Why tip someone for a job

My father battled blood pressure and obesity all his life. Different kind of fight. A year mortgage at Michaels age essentially means that hes buying a coffin.

If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldnt hear the other dead people. Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year I came to work with my spud-gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged? I grew up on a farm.

I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat, couple of pigs watching. The problem, Jim, is that people who are really suffering from a medical condition wont receive the care they need because someone in this office is coming up with ridiculous stuff.

Count Choculitis. Why did you write that down, Jim? Is it because you know I love Count Chocula? I am fast. To give you a reference point I am somewhere between a snake and a mongooseand a panther. How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammermercilessinsatiable.

Would I ever leave this company? Look, Im all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what Im being paid for here is my loyalty. Share your thoughts on this The Office's quote with the community: 0 Comments.

Notify me of new comments via email. Cancel Report. Create a new account. Log In. Select another language:. Please enter your email address: Submit. Powered by CITE. Know another quote from The Office? Don't let people miss on a great quote from the "The Office" movie - add it here! Add a Quote. Our favorite collection of Famous Movies ». Michael Curtiz - The Pianist.

Roman Polanski - Forrest Gump. Robert Zemeckis - Back to the Future. Fight Club. David Fincher - Taxi Driver.